A message in chalk from concerned teaching assistants in front of the Alpha Phi sorority house in Isla Vista, where a makeshift memorial of flowers, candles, and messages was erected. Credit: Patricia MarroquinIn morning and afternoon sessions today at the Graduate Students Association Lounge, UCSB graduate student teaching assistants were presented with guidelines and advice on how to best support students affected by the tragedy in Isla Vista.
The guidelines included strategies for understanding, managing, and coping with grief; resources and services available on campus; and the importance of self-care. These guidelines can apply to any interactions with students, not only in the classroom.
The following are a few of the points made during the session, in addition to links to PDFs with more in-depth information and a YouTube audiocast recap by Counseling and Psychological Services’ Dr. Turi Honegger.
The session was hosted by the GSA; the Graduate Division; and the Division of Student Affairs.
SELF-CARE
- Get adequate sleep, eat nourishing foods, and exercise regularly; maintain as normal a routine as possible.
- Don’t isolate yourself from others. Spend time with family and friends who can provide you with emotional support.
- Allow yourself to laugh; allow yourself to cry.
- Accept caring and practical support from others and let others know what you need.
- Avoid using drugs and alcohol to cope with emotions; they can conceal legitimate emotions and disturb the grieving process.
- If you are religious, seek solace from your faith.
- Avoid overexposure to media; take breaks from news sources as often as possible in order to avoid exacerbating acute stress symptoms.
- Give yourself all the time you need to feel and understand the loss.
Four-legged therapists offer unconditional love, and are sure to lower stress levels. This pooch was among those therapy dogs at Dog Therapy Day on Tuesday outside the SRB. Credit: Patricia MarroquinWHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS
- Be willing to talk about the loss, and encourage the griever to do so.
- Be a good listener – accept, don’t judge, what you hear.
- Reassure the griever that grief symptoms such as anger, guilt, and sadness are normal.
- It may be helpful to say things like: “What help do you need right now?,” “The feelings you’re having are understandable,” and “I don’t know what to say, but I care.”
WHAT NOT TO DO FOR OTHERS
Don’t say things like:
- Be strong
- Take a trip
- It will be better soon
- Count your blessings
- You’re better off than most people
- Keep your chin up
- You must put it behind you and get on with your life
- Time will heal
- If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.
These platitudes alienate and do not help the griever.
Signs offer free hugs and express support for Isla Vista outside the Student Resource Building today. Credit: Patricia Marroquin
Other resources and links:
Strategies for Managing Grief PDF
Student Affairs Message to Faculty
Responding to a Campus Tragedy: Instructional Strategies for Instructors and TAs
Audio recap of the morning session by CAPS’ Dr. Turi Honegger: http://youtu.be/ctD9Bu4QI7U